A Miko's Mind
by Neo Staff
Summary: OneShot Kagome finally gets some alone time in the present to think about Inuyasha and other things, mostly relating to him. After some time, Kagome come to a few conclusions about things. And she doesn’t like any of them.


_**A Mikos Mind**_

_**By: Neo Staff**_

_Disclaimer: Inuyasha isn't mine… (sigh)_

_Summery: Kagome finally gets some alone time in the present to think about Inuyasha and other things, mostly relating to him. After some time, Kagome come to a few conclusions about things. And she doesn't like any of them._

"Will you be back soon, Kagome-sama?" Asked Miroku, standing up to help Kagome lift her heavy backpack.

"I'm not really sure, Miroku," she replied, smiling as, with his help, the backpack was finally settled. "I'm hoping to be, but I'm so busy this month that I'm not really sure anymore of when I'll be back." She went to hug Shippou goodbye, then Sango, and finally Miroku, after he put his hands behind his back.

"Where's dog boy?" Shippou suddenly asked when Kagome was at the door. She visibly stiffened.

After a moment of silence she said, softly, "He's off doing something." And they all knew what. Lately Kikyo had been coming along to take Inuyasha away for hours at a time. He never said a word about it when he got back, and everyone, even Shippou, knew not to say anything.

"We'll miss you Kagome." Sango said, and she was gone, out the door and over to the well.

It was a few minutes before the well was in site, and it came as a slight relief to her. She was glad, yet sad in a way, that Inuyasha wasn't there. She really didn't want to see him right now, she knew if she did she would either blow up at him…or cry, two things she didn't want to do right now.

Throwing her pack into the well, she turned around for one more look at the trees, looking for any sign of red. Seeing nothing, and saying goodbye, she jumped in, wondering if Inuyasha would ever come to get her, or she would ever go back.

'I should have told them.' She thought. 'I should have told them that I might not come back.' She sighed slightly as she saw the roof of the well. 'I'll miss them all…if I don't go back…'

"Kagome?" Someone above her called down. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, Souta, it's me." She called back and started to climb up the wells ladder.

"Where's Inuyasha?" Souta asked. "He's usually with you when you come back these days."

"He's off with some dead bitch!" Kagome snapped, and ran inside of the house, leaving a shocked Souta behind. He had never heard her cuss, unless it was one of her worst days.

'Must be something with Inuyasha.' He thought, and left the well house as well, going again to play soccer against the far house. 'She'll get over it soon though.'

But if only Kagome had thought the same thing. With that outburst to Souta, it was like a death sentence to Inuyasha.

"I never want to see him again!" She told herself. "He's so…insensitive! If he wants to go with Her then he can, I don't care anymore!" She threw herself onto the bed and cried.

It was a little while before she was able to control herself and sit up. Sighing she started to think.

"Ok," she said, taking out a piece of paper from her desk and a pen. "Pros," she wrote the word on one side of the paper. "Cons." She wrote the word on the other side.

'Hmm…Sango, Miroku, Shippou, Kirara, Kaeda...' she wrote all of the names under pros. 'Kouga and his pack? Pro, they're nice, even if Kouga does come after me a lot.' She wrote this down to.

"Ok, cons, cons, cons…" she said to herself. "Naraku, Kagura, Kanna." She wrote all of this down. "Sesshomaru? Well…I guess both, really." She wrote his name in-between. "Totousai, pro, Kohaku…he's pro, he doesn't mean to do anything." She really didn't know why she was talking to herself, but she found that it was helping her to calm down.

"Kikyo?" She sighed as she thought this one over. "Well, because of her I was able to meet Inuyasha. Because of her Inuyasha was hurt. Because of her Inuyasha doesn't always stay with me. Because of her I fell in love with Inuyasha…" she smiled a little and wrote her name under pro. Kikyo really wasn't all _that_ bad, most of the time.

Suddenly she stopped, looking down at the paper. Why was she doing this? Trying to find if she should go back or not? She shook her head, put the pen away, and ripped up the paper, throwing that into her trash bin.

"Inuyasha doesn't love me." She said, leaning back in her chair. "He loves Kikyo. If I tell him that I love him, he'll just freak out and run away with her."

She looked over at the picture she had taken of them all one day. Picking it up she looked at everyone in turn.

First to Shippou, saying, "I think of him as a son. I bet he thinks I'm an adoptive mother. I love him so much, but he can live without me, he has Sango, she'd be a better mom then me."

That brought her to Sango, and she said, "Sister. I wonder how she'd react if she were here. She always has something to say. So smart and athletic. I'll miss her so much. But she'll have Miroku to care for her."

To Miroku now, she said to the picture, "Such a pervert, but so nice. He always tries to help everyone, even if it's sometimes to gain something. But he's got Sango, so he's fine."

And finally to Inuyasha, she said, "And he has Kikyo. She can detect shards better then me, so why keep me around? You're always just out of my reach it seems, so…I'll stay out of yours from now on."

She put the picture down, took out another piece of paper, took up the pen again, and wrote,

"Dear Mother and Souta and Grandpa,

I love you all so much, but it's too much for me. I had thought at first that I just wouldn't go back, but I know I will. I love him so much, but he loves her. If he comes back, tell him where I am, and tell him that Kami will always watch over me from now on, and I Inuyasha when he's here. And tell him I love him, I really want him to know. It's not his fault, it's mine. I'm the one who made me think about this, so Souta, make sure he's still your hero later in life.

--Kagome

p.s. Tell Hojo that he'll need to find another girl to show affection for."

Smiling sadly down at the letter, she took off the keep that was around her neck and inserted it into the side of her desk, where a slightly secret drawer was hidden. Reaching inside carefully, she drew out the weapon inside: a gun. She had taken it when no one was looking, thinking about using it in the past, but deciding that they really didn't need to see guns like this yet.

Going to her window and looking outside, she saw Souta playing and almost put the gun down. But her eyes caught sight of the well house and, leaning slightly over the sill of the window, she raised the gun to her head and pulled the trigger.

Down she tumbled, finally hitting the pavement as a scream ripped the air form inside and outside the house.

"Kagome!" Souta yelled, running to her. But someone beat him, someone who was in red. Taking her into his arms, Inuyasha jumped up into her room, leaving a crying Souta and Kagome's now coming outside mother behind.

"I'm sorry," Inuyasha whispered. "I should have come sooner. But Kikyo she…" she looked around, spotting the gun, which had fallen from her grasp as she fell, laying on the floor. "But I'm going with you." He said, picking the device up and copying what he had seen Kagome do. "I love you." He whispered and, leaning close to her and capturing her cold lips with his own, he, to, pulled the trigger, and a second shot fired.

News report:

"Of the two bodies removed from the building last Saturday night, only one was able to be confirmed human. Higurashi Kagome, a sickly girl it appeared, had shot and killed herself moments before her boyfriend did the same. Her boyfriend, as was told to us by the grieving Higurashi mother, was named Inuyasha, did not appear to be human, as he had dog ears attached to his head. It is not known why he has killed himself, weather it was out of sadness, or something else. A suicide note was found on the desk in the girl's room, and it read,

"Dear Mother and Souta and Grandpa,

I love you all so much, but it's too much for me. I had thought at first that I just wouldn't go back, but I know I will. I love him so much, but he loves her. If he comes back, tell him where I am, and tell him that Kami will always watch over me from now on, and I Inuyasha when he's here. And tell him I love him, I really want him to know. It's not his fault, it's mine. I'm the one who made me think about this, so Souta, make sure he's still your hero later in life.

--Kagome

p.s. Tell Hojo that he'll need to find another girl to show affection for."

Authorities have questioned the boy about her, and all he said was that she had been sick lately, and maybe that was why. This is Mashanawa Nurio for the Japan late News, the weather is next."

A/N: Sad? I thought it was a little. And Inuyasha was there in time, but he didn't knwo what she was doing and so he was, in a way, late. And Souta and Kagome's mom were in a little state of shock so didnt' follow right away. Ok, just clearing that up, since I think some ppl might be a little confused...anyways, if anyone does have questions, either pm me or review, thx, and ja ne!


End file.
